I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
