Nicole vs. Life
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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