If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
