One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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