If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
foreskin is a definite game changer
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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