i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I believe in your delicious
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
