Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
