Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
