That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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