is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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