I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
