there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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