just come out here and I will go home with you...
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
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