Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
