i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
