It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
