Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
