Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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