i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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