Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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