So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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