You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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