she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
