Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
