wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
