Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
