"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
