Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
