I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i think my cat just said my name.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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