By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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