Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
