Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize