I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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