you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
