What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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