Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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