I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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