new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
