I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
