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Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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