just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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