Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
As shirtless as possible
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
