I hate your face
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Everyone says I win the strip club
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
