yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
