this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
