butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
