there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
