This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
