I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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