i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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