We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
