he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
