She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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