So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
