I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize