Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
