If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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