I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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