How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
