Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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