Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
