he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
