Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
