the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
