I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize