Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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