I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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