I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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