You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
