12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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