I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
