You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
