just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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