how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
